My Pilgrimage
My name is Christian. It has not always been so. I once was known as Complacent. How my name came to be changed from Complacent to Christian is the theme of this account. I have divided this account into four sections which describe the four stages of my pilgrimage until this date.
STAGE ONE - SON OF PERDITION
I was born in the land of Perdition as every child of my race is. From my childhood I was carefully instructed as to the true Nature of the country of my birth, of my own Condition for having been born there and of the Perils to come. I was also instructed as to the Calling I had been given to become a Citizen of The Glorious Land. I was carefully taught that The Great King had formed me from my mother's womb (Jer. 1:5 ) and that he loved me and desired me to be a part of His Kingdom. Many years previous my parents had made application for and been granted Citizenship there. They had subsequently been appointed Ambassadors for The Great King of The Glorious Land to this land of Perdition.
I learned early that even though my parents were Citizens, I was not automatically a citizen of the Glorious Land, neither by birth nor by right. I must make my own personal application for it. I was brought to the awareness that I could only become a citizen by the process of ReCreation (2 Cor. 5:17) which upon my application would be worked in me by the King's own Secretary Of State. Although the process was being freely offered by The Great King of The Glorious Land to every citizen of Perdition, the Application was a necessary prerequisite. Several times I was shown the application form and encouraged to fill it out and sign it. It was entitled, By Grace – Through Faith. My parents could not do it for me, I was told. (Actually, in my own abilities neither could I.) However, my parents were only too eager to assist me in any encouraging way they were allowed, but true to my name, Complacent, I was in no rush to do anything.
From early childhood I was read to from an old black book in the possession of my parents which was entitled The Manual For The Attaining, Conducting and Preserving of Citizenship in The Glorious Kingdom, or more commonly called The Manual (2 Tim. 3:15,16). This great volume contained the account of The Ancient Plan of The Great King. It included stories of the exploits of the servants as well as the enemies of The Great King. It recounted especially the heroism of the King's own Son, Prince Immanuel, and how His Story was the central theme of The Ancient Plan.
I was unconcerned about future things and things unseen. Near our home was a forest in which I as a child loved to play. The entrance to the forest had a sign over it which was somewhat hard to read. In my childish way I read what I could and assumed the rest. The sign read The Care-____ Woods and I supplied the word that was obscured with my own interpretation. Thus if any were to ask me where I spent my days I would tell them that I played in The Care-Free Woods. It was not until I was much older and wiser that I chanced past those woods again and scrutinized the inscription more carefully. The name of the forest really was "The Care-Less Woods".
In a childish way I did come to understand that if I were to apply for Citizenship I would likely not want to have anything more to do with these woods and I was rather taken by what I thought was a free and unencumbered life which I led while playing there. To me, Citizenship in a country I had never known and never seen (except as portrayed to me in The Manual), was much less interesting than my delightful woods. Thus I was not immediately concerned with Citizenship, although I did feel occasional pangs of anxiety... I wasn’t always sure why!
During the first 11 years of my life a visitor named Evangelist came often to our house and was made welcome there. The stories he would tell of The Glorious Land and of The Great King who ruled that land often held me spellbound. Frequently he would urge me and my four siblings to make application for Citizenship and sometimes I half considered it.
My life in Perdition, however, I found quite pleasant. Many were the seemingly exciting and absorbing diversions that had been established by The Ruler of the Land. The Care-Less Woods was one of them and another was the playground. This playground, known as Fantasy Park, was one of the feature attractions of our city. It had been designed and commissioned by The Ruler of the Land himself and was constantly patrolled by his most trusted servants. Some of the more popular rides were the Slide of Disregard, the Seesaw of Vacillation and the Swings of Heedlessness. There was also a pond in the middle of the park with an inscription on a rock nearby. The inscription, however, was somewhat obscured with mud. What could be read was, The Stimulating Water of ___ife, and again in my childishness I supplied the missing letters supposing that water brought life. In actuality the word was Strife. I, like many others, splashed and played vigorously there and quite enjoyed the effect the water had on my relationships with others.
In all of this there seemed to be one hindrance to complete happiness. I, like so many of my friends, carried a bundle on my back which was affectionately known in our town as The Pack or My Pack. This Pack was the mark of birth in Perdition. Many there were of the citizens of our city who were quite proud of their Pack, but I for one found it extremely tiresome. It was always in the way and never gave me opportunity to taste the complete freedom I longed for. It was situated in such a way on my back as to prohibit me from removing anything from it and it had the nasty habit of changing weight depending on my circumstances. For example, when I was frolicking in The Care-Less Woods or merrily riding in Fantasy Park my Pack became so light that, for the most part, it could almost be ignored. When, however, I walked in solitude and had time to ponder the deeper things in life my Pack hung heavily off of my shoulders and bowed even my young back. It was not until many years had passed that I was to learn that my Pack was really called Guilt and was not a thing of honor but rather a result of The Rebellion and the subsequent Curse upon all the inhabitants of Perdition. That Pack became very annoying on those occasions when my parents would speak to me of The Glorious Land, of The Great King and His Son The Prince and would read to me from The Manual. It became most bothersome when Evangelist came to visit. His piercing eyes and knowing look caused me to almost groan with the sudden weight of My Pack. Eventually I came to fear his visits as much as my parents welcomed them.
STAGE TWO - CITIZENSHIP
When I was a lad of 11 years my family took a trip to the seaside where, with my brothers and sisters, I spent many happy, seemingly carefree days. Most days I was almost able to forget My Pack completely. Only in the evenings when my parents would read from The Manual would a little discomfort arise. I did my best to ignore the discomfort and was often able, in this way, to put it out of mind. This pattern continued until one day when my siblings and I were playing with a ball and I chased after it - to the very brink of a deep Chasm where suddenly I lost my footing and tumbled over the edge. I was able to catch hold of a tuft of dry grass and break my fall, but then I clung there trembling for my life. The grass was loose and I feared that I would inevitably be dashed to the bottom. As I hung there I felt like I could already see the Indescribable Terrors hunkered down in the depths of The Chasm amidst great spoutings of flame and dark, billowing smoke. I would have been dashed to pieces or consumed by the Terrors had it not been for the timely arrival of a strong young man who, with a considerable effort, grasped my hand and dragged me back on to solid ground. When finally I scrambled to my feet to thank him I saw that he was the young man that some called Opportunity, whom I had occasionally seen accompanying Evangelist when he was on a mission to our city. As I brushed myself off Opportunity told me that The Great King had seen my plight and had sent him hurrying to once again extended the Citizenship application to me (2 Cor. 6:2). That day I surrendered. Trembling, I knelt there and with thankful heart accepted and read again the title of the form, Faith Alone (Rom. 3:22-31; Eph.2:8,9). The opening line of the form said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved" (Acts 16:31). I filled it out with the pen Prayer and signed my name (John 1:12; Rom. 10:9,10).[1] At that moment the King's own wonderful Lord Secretary of State came to me and placed the King's Seal of Citizenship upon me – amazingly, in some mysterious way, that Seal was Himself (2 Cor. 1:22, Eph. 1:13, Philip. 3:20). He replaced my rags (Is. 64:6) with royal clothing that was dazzling white (1 Cor. 6:11). As I looked up a song sprang into my heart that had never been there before. I stood and realized that something had changed - My Pack, it was gone (Ps.103:12).
I knew from the teaching I had received as a child that I now must walk in The King's Way and that in The Manual there was a map for me to follow as I journeyed. I returned to my family but for some reason one of my young companions named Childish Fear convinced me not to speak to my parents of what had happened. "Keeping my own counsel", he called it. Partly because of this, and partly because of a lingering relationship with my old pal Indifference, I had great difficulty following the King's Map.
STAGE THREE - COMMITTED
When I was 16 years of age my parents left me in the care of another Ambassador and his wife as my parents traveled many thousand miles away on a dangerous mission for the King. During this time I frequently met up with that fearsome giant Despair and was forced to spend many a night in his dungeons. Often the old giant would come storming into the cell and taunt me by telling me that My Pack was not really gone and that I was just fooling myself if I believed that I was no longer a citizen of Perdition. (He was an old and trusted servant of Ruler of that Dark Land.)
Each time I was captured and thrown into Despair’s dark prison The Great King would send a messenger to unlock the dungeon doors and release me - after which I would enjoy a period of comparative peace. Indifference, however, was still my occasional companion and he called a close friend of his to accompany us. This man's name was Sloth and he was a pompous fool who preferred to be called Undisciplined Youthfulness. Between the two of them I regularly wandered off the King's Way and deep into the dark forests that were controlled by Giant Despair and before long I would find myself back behind his gloomy gates.
It was during one of these dreadful sojourns in Despair's dungeon that the King sent a special envoy whose name was Witness. I will never forget that glorious sunlit morning as he led me out of the dungeon. We walked many miles together that day as he described to me the King's special love for me (Rom. 5:6-11). He painted in graphic detail the Special-Under-Cover-Mission (Phil. 2:6-8) of Prince Immanuel – which He undertook to deliver me from the dominion of darkness (Col. 13:1; 1 Pet.2:9) and from giants such as Despair. It was not long before my eyes welled with tears as I heard recounted the depths of love which took my Prince to The Tree, The Sepulcher and finally, The Crown. I knelt that day with Witness's words echoing in my heart and in contrition and confession (Ps. 51) I surrendered my all to The King of Incredible Love. That event marked the beginning of a new commitment to be faithful to walk in the King's Way without wandering. Over the next few miles I gradually left my previous companions behind as they were inclined to explore the by-ways while I was more and more bent on going forward in the King's Way. Alas there were still the occasions when Indifference caught up with me and for a time I was tempted to wander. But thanks be to the King whose eyes were always looking out for me and sending reminders to keep me progressing straight ahead. There were many broad and shady paths that meandered through the woods and fields that bordered the King's Way. On hot dusty days these by-ways looked very inviting indeed but I pressed on having heard that Giant Despair had several brothers in these parts - namely Giant Anger, Giant Lust, Giant Pride and Giant Covetousness.
It was during this stage in my journey that the King's dear Secretary of State (who I found was never far away when I needed Him) spoke to me of the King's desire to appoint me as a Witness, an Ambassador to one of the cities of Perdition. I was ecstatic. I would have to know the contents of The Manual much better and so it was decided that I should undergo a term of training at The Academy. Thus I had the privilege of spending five years at The Academy intensively studying The Manual. The Academy's theme was “Training Disciplined Soldiers for Jesus Christ.” I must confess, I had a little bit of trouble with the “disciplined” bit – but on the whole they were important, formative years.
STAGE FOUR - COMMISSIONED
Once the initial stage of my training was completed the King sent me a gift - a companion by the name of Helpmeet to journey along beside me and be a fellow Witness in the cities of Perdition. For the past thirty years Helpmeet and I have traveled the Way of the King together. Along the way we have climbed some glorious mountains, descended into some fearsome valleys, met and battled numerous implacable foes, even suffered some serious setbacks. Above all, however, we have daily experienced the goodness of the King. It has been a delight to listen to the stories of Prince Immanuel as recounted to us by the King’s own dear Secretary of State.
My pilgrimage is not yet over. I do not know what lies over the next hill or around the bend and beyond. There are a few things that I do know. The Great King, Whose I am and Whom I serve, is eternally faithful and His great love will never dim. Immanuel, his Son, is in the process of preparing a Wonderful Palace (Joh. 14:1-4) where all his pilgrims will someday spend an eternity of blissful fellowship with their beloved Friend and Prince. Until then, the Lord Secretary of State will never leave me to walk alone. His own dear presence and the presence of fellow pilgrims cause joy to overflow in my heart and make the journey rich, fulfilling and blessed.
Perchance you and I meet along the way, we will encourage each other and consider how we might spur one another on to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24).
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[1]In later years I was able to take a closer look at the wording of that form and found out that several things had escaped my notice the day I first signed it. For example the parchment was imprinted with a water mark that read "BY GRACE YOU ARE SAVED" (Eph. 2:8,9). There was also a long legal clause that identified, among other things, 1. the ground of this transaction - the precious blood of Christ (1 Pet. 1:18,19; Rom. 3:25; 5:9; Eph. 1:7), 2. the motivation behind this transaction - the love of God (John 3:16; Rom. 5:8; Eph. 2:4; Titus 3:4), and many other foundational truths.
